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Online life

It’s not for me – A healthier way to disagree online

Four little words with the power to make all the difference.

Cavan Scott

• 3 min read
Cartoon of a man in a blue top giving a double thumbs up!
Image: madaniaart / Canva Pro

“It’s not for me.”

Four little words.

Four little words that can be the most powerful tool we have in this fractured, social media world.  The most powerful defence. 

They are used when you don’t like something out there in the ever-expanding media landscape. Films. Sports. TV. Music. The list goes on and on — and so does the outrage.

You see something. Watch something. Hear something, and you don’t like it. Maybe it was something we used to like — a beloved franchise, a new direction for a favourite artist — or something new, something that doesn’t quite line up with our interests or personal history.

We all have those moments, but over the last ten years, they’ve become incendiary. We’ve been taught to react immediately. To go on the defensive. To go on the attack. We see someone liking something we don’t, and we're compelled to tell them they're wrong. Or mock them, calling them names. Dehumanising them.

It’s the stuff of the playground, but dragged into our adult life. On our phones. On our computer screens. It’s become second nature. What once was harmless joshing has curdled into something nasty and bitter.

Something cruel.

It’s also become dangerous. Because when we dehumanise another person, we dehumanise ourselves. Make ourselves less than we were. We close our hearts and our minds.

And it can all be defused by those four little words.

“It’s not for me.”

Those four little words are quiet. They're calming. They don't demand to be amplified. They allow us to step back. To lower the volume. To let others be.

Those four little words are generous. They're kind. Full of grace. They acknowledge that, yes, we didn’t like that, but someone else will. Someone else may even love it. That thing that rubbed us the wrong way is the very same thing that gives someone else joy. And that’s okay. More than okay, it’s great. Because the world is a big place, tastes vary, and there's room for all of us to find what we love without diminishing it for anyone else.

Those four little words are releasing. Liberating. They give you permission to search out what is for us. What we’ll love. What gives us joy. All without tearing someone else down. It frees up our energy, releasing us from negative spirals that consume our precious time. We get to move on. To try new things, to grow — all without making someone else feel small. 

Four little words, with the potential to make a huge impact.