Stop beating yourself up!

We've all seen the gif of Captain Kirk whacking the living Shatner out of himself.

You know the one: poor ol' James T. slapping himself silly, caught in an infinite loop of self-abuse.

It's absurd... hilarious... and yet we do it to ourselves all the time!

Honestly, if beating yourself up were an Olympic sport, half the writers I know would be on the podium – and I'd be vying for top spot!

Take today, for example.

This week has not gone to plan. There have been hospital appointments, household mishaps, and unexpected shenanigans playing merry hell with my schedule. By this morning, I should've had two days of solid work on my novel, and yet I hadn‘t written a word.

Not one.

Zilch.

Nada.

So, my head full of gremlins, I dragged myself to the keyboard, telling myself it didn't matter. I'd power through.

Pulling teeth didn’t even come close. It was like pushing a large rock up a very steep hill while wearing roller-skates.

And yet I kept on going, hammering away, desperate to build momentum.

By lunch, I'd managed a grand total of 1,700 words. Words that needed to be edited, yes, but words that hadn't existed before. Words that nudged me closer to that elusive ending.

You'd think I'd have thrown myself a parade, or at the very least, cracked open the celebratory biscuits.

But no. Not me.

*Kirk-mode engaged.*

'Is that all you've managed?'

SLAP!

'You'll never hit the deadline.'

SLAP!

'Honestly, why do you even bother?'

SLAP, SLAPPITY, SLAP!

Ridiculous. Absolutely ridiculous.

And yet we've all done it.

Life happens. Plans explode. And yet, instead of acknowledging how well we're doing despite the universe dancing a tango on our to-do list, we punish ourselves, sticking the boot in when we're already on the floor.

Here's what I should have told myself:

'1,700 words! That's flippin' marvellous considering the week you've had.'

'Showing up when all you want to do is hide away? That's the real work, right there.'

'For the love of Kirk, get over yourself and have a bloody biscuit!'

If we saw a friend spiralling, we'd jump in. We'd make tea, talk them down, and remind them that progress – any progress – counts!

But when it's us, we hit the self-destruct button.

Kindness matters, especially to yourself. That's not self-help, it's a matter of survival.

Creativity doesn't thrive under self-punishment. Quite the opposite.

Stop making things harder than they need to be. Give yourself a break. And – by order of the Captain – take the win, however large or small!